Valentine's Day special

BYN Spam wires

Here at BYN, our commitment to saving you time and money while lining the pockets of our shareholders has resulted in a number of corporate budget cuts.

Most recently, we fired our holiday special staff. The staff consisted of 12 middle-aged men and women - severely underpaid writers, online editors and photographers - all of whom had mortgages on new homes and childern in college. Still, after such failed efforts as "A very Nasty Halloween," "I'm dreaming of a Yellow Christmas," and "A Big Yellow Nasty salute to Martin Luther King," it was time to cut them loose.

Please understand that we are very, very sorry about those holiday specials. So sorry that for Valentine's Day, we sent nice little pink cards to the holiday special staff along with chalky candy hearts that said "Laid off." No flowers.

And that's why we were a little late on our Valentine's Day deadline. In fact, we weren't planning a special at all until one of our unpaid interns stumbled across this fabulous Spam e-mail:

RE: F---ing St. Valentine

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially
in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the
medication and that is all you are to do!

Do not kill the clock!

What are you to do if you have missing holiday special? Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time ...

Happy forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???