Time for a bender

Here at the Big Yell Nast, we're committed to providing edgy commentary on random snippets of popular culture. Sometimes, however, other news services beat us to the punch.

Take this article on Modern Drunkard Magazine's third annual convention (Thanks for the heads up, Woot WWWoundup!). We don't even know if it's all for real, but we sure as heck know that the process of writing the article involved lots of beers.

It's about a three-day mass bender that takes place beneath that neon cowboy in Vegas. The one you see in all the movies but have never seen in real Vegas.

But you should read the story yourself. We're only here to answer a few questions the story doesn't have time to get to. And here they are:

Is Modern Drunkard a real magazine?

Yes. Here's their Web site: www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com.

Seriously?

Yeah. They have stories such as Guns and Tequila: The wet and wild life of famed director (and infamous drunkard) Sam Peckinpah.

Do they have cool merchandise?

Yes. Like that t-shirt above. Even a fez.

Would a subscription be a good gift idea for my drunk uncle?

Yes, but only if he can read.

You guys recommend any other magazines?

We used to like Giant Magazine, but it's really gone to hell in the last two issues. A larger rant on that is probably coming soon. We like Men's Health, although they probably wouldn't like Modern Drunkard.

Coming soon: A beer that tastes like a kids' cereal.

Fergalicious!

Back to school with dinosaur fashion

BYN fashion extra

The Big Yellow Nasty - under normal circumstances - hates Talbots. We're using the word 'hate' here. About a clothing store.

Why? BYN has confirmed through independent studies that their clothing can make women look up to 50 percent older and 25 percent less attractive. It's that bad.

In the kids' department, however, Talbots has thrown us a curveball. Inspired by more than 65 million years of late-Jurassic awesomeness, this sweatshirt resurrects the stegosaurus in the glory befitting of the roof lizard.

And this kindergartner is fired up for his first day of school because he knows he's a pimp, even if he's too young to know what a pimp is.

The stegosaurus, paleontologists believe, was the original pimp of dinosaurs, capable of smacking a T-Rex like Dolemite with spiked tail. Unfortunately, the stegosaurus hasn't gotten much pop-culture love lately. It was written out of the movie version of Jurassic Park in favor of triceratops, and Spike from the popular Land Before Time series hardly looks stego at all.

Our stegosauric euphoria at the arrival of this shirt leads us to wonder, are there any good dinosaur shirts for adults?

Well, we mentioned this one from bustedtees.com and this one from Sinclair. But we're not talking about the apatosaurus. It's stego or nothing. Here's what we found:

This shirt from 3DShirts.com looks like it came from the gift shop at a museum circa 1990.

This shirt from dELiAs.com would win some kind of award from us, but it doesn't have a stegosaurus. We're pretty sure it's for girls. Girls who don't like stegosauruses.

CafePress let us down as most of these chumps seem to think only kids want stegosaurus stuff. You, sirs, are wrong.

At this point, BYN has gotten bored scouring the Web. We think there's football on.

So here's what we want to do. 1) get some kind of thermal ringneck longsleeve shirt. 2) score some dinosaur bedsheets with a cool stegosaurus. 3) cut out said cool stegosaurus and 4) ask our mom to sew the stegosaurus onto the shirt.

Sadly, it seems dinosaur sheets are kind of prohibitively expensive. Or prohibitively lame. Probably some big-name fashion designer will beat us to the punch and start selling stegosaurus shirts in French boutiques for $500. Some other designer will co-opt ankylosaurus, and so on ... Then Mr. Talbots will be kicking himself for not making the sweatshirt in bigger sizes in the first place. The jerk.

Thank you for reading fashion extra. Coming soon: better writing.